turn down the lights....

guide us with your grace

Thu, 26 Apr 2007 04:04:37 GMT

i like flowers and holding hands, i cry a lot and love the color pink. i draw hearts on my school work, and spend hours infront of the mirror. i like getting just because gifts, and being told that im special.
i keep it together because i have to.
&you didnt know that

LIVING LIKE YOURE DEAD

Fri, 20 Apr 2007 01:30:08 GMT

yeah; if youre wondering why im not around. . . its because im busy getting my life back.

if you dont care; than i dont either

a fish in a spaceship

Wed, 18 Apr 2007 03:55:21 GMT

a fish in a spaceship is flying through school.


a dinosaur's dancing on top of a stool.


the library's loaded with orange baboons,


in purple tuxedos with bows and balloons.


the pigs on the playground are having a race


while pencils parade in their linens and lace.


as camels do cartwheels and elephants fly,


bananas are baking a broccoli pie.


a hundred gorillas are painting the walls,


while robots on rockets careen through the halls.


tomatoes are teaching in all of the classes.


or maybe, just maybe, I need some new glasses.





--Kenn Nesbitt


______________________________________________________________













you seem to make everything worth my while.♥

be my take over break over

Sat, 14 Apr 2007 02:25:34 GMT

im the new cancer; since youve already infected me.
my life is a fucking joke.
i cant wait for it to be over.
im in vitamin D withdrawl , i think i may have mono, i dont know what im learning in bio, &i feel like the only thing i ever believed in is falling apart.
im kinda lost and would like you to walk me through this.

its that thing you do when you think im not looking

Mon, 02 Apr 2007 03:03:40 GMT

spring break is over and i hate it. there were alot of things i wish i had the time to do. i didnt get to see alex, i didnt really study for physics like i was supposed to, i didnt have any really wild adventures, and the list goes on. i did go to minneapolis with the crew. and i did have a stellar time. attended an nba game and finally visited the mall of america. our bus was almost stolen. it was grand. other than that trip, spring break blew. it just flew by before my eyes and i didnt even bother trying to jump into the excitement. what a waste.
i hate not being able to find the words for certain things. im finding myself constantly speechless.
but maybe its for the best right now; because the shit thats trying to find its way out would probably fuck my life up twice as hard.

i need to go swimming, i need the summer, i need to get an A in every subject, and i need you to help me deal with it.

hooked on substance

Tue, 20 Mar 2007 01:22:02 GMT

its become one of those things that i just couldn't care less about;.
it reminds me of the feeling right before pins and needles. the point where you could slam your feelingless member against a wall and feel absolutely nothing. it only life were like that. this weekend better not find a way of screwing me over. i need new friends with new exciting activities to occupy my wandering mind. alex still owes me a salad.; a caesar one.
i can see tomorrow hitting me like a hangover. ill probably cry, and need to be excused from class. i just cant keep it in any longer. i sometimes just  want to ask you why you're smiling; deck you, knowing you'd bleed, and your smile would be wiped away.
i sometimes think that if i wasn't as tolerable as i am, id have enemies that i'd never even met. i wouldn't have a problem getting in your face and throwing you to the floor.
i dont give two fucks right now.
   - 4 d a y s o f h e l l .

I SWEAR IM NOT.

Tue, 06 Mar 2007 03:09:22 GMT

trashed as usual; we'll show up at your door wanting all of you, all at once.
you got your bitch, i got my hoe;
you bring your tunes, i'll bring my 40.
he'll cut you up before you can scream for help
she'll beat you down before you take your breath.
we'll strip you of your fears and make you believe,
only to put you back in your place.

its called fuck you.
we don't even talk and i sometimes i want to grab you by the hair and throw you to the curb.

it is pointless.

are you game?

Sun, 04 Mar 2007 19:57:31 GMT

i am a terrible friend. period.
i dont seem to get it. and i dont know why.
it seems ive been taken over and it scares me.
yesterday i watched this movie and it made me cry.
it made me realize how terrible a person i am, and how deep ive fallen in love.

im game.

and it just makes me sick

Thu, 22 Feb 2007 22:51:47 GMT

i went to omaha, and i really enjoyed myself. i missed the comeback kid show, but it was still worth it.
i am going to fail physics. i actually sat down today and tried to do questions from my text. i ended up in tears. i hate that i actually try really really hard, and i still dont know what the fuck is going on.

i am very excited for this weekend because i get to have x-rays done, and go shopping with alex.
i have a volleyball tournament ending around 6 on saturday, allowing me to show up at the highly anticipated shindig(courtesy of alex and i) no later than nine o'clock..
trashed as usual; we'll show up at your door wanting all of you all at once.
ill have to finally say something; without reason without thought. scared as usual.

i think and care about you way too much.
you wont ever understand
the day you see me, the day i see you is the day we'll finally see eye to eye.
♥

i barely get anything right.

Tue, 20 Feb 2007 18:24:01 GMT

BACK THE FUCK OFF.
you ARE the scene, you CAUSE the scence.
get a fucking life.

im a little bit scared of what comes after

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 01:32:43 GMT

1) reading my ass
2) its called priority
3) im disapointed and hurt,
hope you're happy.

take a step back.

Thu, 25 Jan 2007 02:17:20 GMT

whats new;
i hate my life.

it's a beautiful, baby blue.

Thu, 18 Jan 2007 00:00:25 GMT

And you got me

-i want to ask.; and im unsure.
-i want to move away, &drive through the night
-overwhelm me; i want all of you all at once.

tell me how its gonna be.

Sat, 13 Jan 2007 20:06:41 GMT

if you really didnt care, you wouldnt talk about us.
you wouldnt write my name on a piece of paper, as if i was the culprit.
youd move on with your life and get over yourself.
youd take what you have and appreciate it.
you abuse everything.
it wasnt me who acted first,
i never once encouraged it, until you said it was ok.
i have respect for you, and you still test me.
im jealous of what you have, all of it.
dont think that i ever won.
i chose not to race because i knew youd win; and you did.

lets just drive across the country...

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 23:34:21 GMT

turn the music down, im tired of talking really loud.
ive just got one last thing to say.

i still feel like there's something missing; and i dont know what it is.
everything, is finally. . .perfect.

it still feels like you're never really there.
and im scared.
i dont remember the last time i was so happy that i wanted to cry and throw up all at the same time.
im nervous and insecure, and dont know what to do.

sup?

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 01:38:34 GMT

BITCHES LOVE ME

CAUSE THEY KNOW

THAT I CAN ROCK.

takemeOUT

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 22:25:10 GMT

i'm going def from the sound of the dj.

im lonely, tired, naucious, and constipated.
it was so worth it.♥
you made it worth while. thanks.

i miss my cutlloose prime. i havnt talked to you on the phone in 2days.

lets give it up for the new year. make it last.

GIMMIE A D

Wed, 27 Dec 2006 22:02:30 GMT

-"we've fallen in love. it was the best idea i've ever had."

the breakdown; watch it unfold

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 23:20:10 GMT

someone told me,
"dont trust anyone leah"
my mistake.
over much?
i think so.
this 5year old decided to grow up.

im not here; im too busy fucking your boyfriend

Sat, 11 Nov 2006 04:54:35 GMT

FUCK I HATE YOU ALL.
some people need a good fucking curbstomp.

dont ask; ill tell you
&i still miss him
we wont get it

dear you, tonight lets get ahead of ourselves

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 23:34:32 GMT

i had a splendid time thank-you very much
great friends, footballgame, boston pizza, sleepover with a pretty girl named amber
volleyball tournament, BEAUTIFUL OLD FRIENDS.
french movies, and the metalest metal show ever.
it was interesting.

i hate you
i want nothing to do with you
i hate the way you make me feel
i hate the way you give me that queezy butterfly feeling in my stomach every time i see you.
let me help you get to where we left off
a thousand faces we choose to ignore

its going to be even better.
CRAZY wild night with ermina; finally, shopping with my best friend, and the show with my hero johnny♥

this should be good.
i have the bestest of best friends

this is way i would have done this

Fri, 20 Oct 2006 21:04:39 GMT

SO.eleven days.
how about i sex you up.

scream until you can't breathe

Sat, 14 Oct 2006 02:59:49 GMT

MUAHAHAHH; life is a whore; and i like how shes working me.
what can you say when the worst of worst hits you and your still standing.
i enjoy volleyball beyond belief and love my gurlies.
everyone else sucks everything suckable.
boys are the worst; i have a new boyfriend; he doesnt know it yet.
and thats it. i hate alot of things. i cant wait until im ungrounded.
i already have plans to get trashed. im excited.
bitch please.
loveit.

is that what you call a getaway?

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 15:56:22 GMT

im grounded until the first of november for doing nothing wrong.
i cant go to the show, i cant go out, im pretty sad
my summer was the shit though.
i did the stupidest, randomest, funnest things ever including;
pool hopping, bonging a beer, eating a goog, ouiji board, mad coffee runs, all nighters, gocarting, and just illegal stuff.
not really, but hey, i like to think im a bad ass.
i made new friends, developped new talents, it was amazing.
&i lead the race, i dont think i was ever loosing.(heath i will win)
&&i have the GREATEST. best friend ever.(heath again)
MUAUUHAHAH; your my rock. (heath; im talking about you)
i have no regrets EXCEPT.
well nothing really.

i need you like i need water in my lungs

Sun, 27 Aug 2006 15:43:13 GMT

so. summers almost over and i need to get tanked. i play ouiji board way too much and i think im cursed.
like the other day i stepped on a tack in my basement. it wasnt that bad, but it was unpleasant.
then two days later i had this intense power outtage while i was in my basement washroom putting on mascara.
the lights were like flickering and my music was going on and off. i was so scared i was like calling my mom.
then we went out for diner because the stove and microwave were powerless; it was cool.
less than two weeks left and i still have to eat a cantemellon, go to the beach, go to the drive in, attend candyconvention, have multiple sleepovers and just do stupid things like attack the ice cream truck that stalks my streets monday to friday.
im pretty excited. im actually really happy right now, buti wish heath♥ was hur, and that i could do anything anytime, and that i didnt have a curfew so i could have sat by the river that night and just laughed at everything and tied my red shoes over and over again.